GaryGB
-
Posts
3,123 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Gallery
Downloads
Posts posted by GaryGB
-
-
For the benefit of our non-British readers: (since Fritzois isn't here to explain): :cry:
Wensleydale is the most famous of the (British) Yorkshire Dale cheeses. The story of Wensleydale cheese goes back to the French Cistercian monks who came over to England with William the Conqueror in the 11th century. :idea:
The original Wensleydale was a soft blue cheese made from sheep's milk, which is not so surprising, given that the monks maintained contacts with the cheese makers of Roquefort, France. Today, cows' milk has replaced sheeps' milk in Wensleydale, and Blue Wensleydale is a rare treat. :wink:
How'd I do, Chris and Alexf ? :roll:
GaryGB
-
Hi Pups:
Well, if they were not to be deterred, but still said RTFM, couldn't one say that their actions still resulted in their being de terd? :oops: :D
But don't let it get you down or make you... cynical: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/lifecynical.php
NOTE: This message was brought to you by the Department of Redundancies Dept., which has again reiterated its intention to redouble efforts at using words with double entendre. It is expected with great anticipation that this may help keeps Chris at his computer laughing so he won't get into too much mischief out in the great American west (...sure gets lonely out there on the prairie don't it?!!!) :lol:
Hmmm... Skinny Puppy Rant; sounds like a good title for a Rap music song! :P
GaryGB
-
Hi Deftl!
Good to know that GoogleEarth is progressing so well. :D
Heli: a little patience, and it won't be long till they will have finished the whole planet including belgium! :wink:
Pups: does this mean we should give equal time to the geese in our yarns about the birds of Emma? :roll:
Everyone: here's the key to further speeding up our use of the forums <...NOT!!!>
see: http://netforbeginners.about.com/cs/netations.htm
GaryGB
-
"The Great Texas Buzzard Massacre" :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:wrote: "I played him like a big game fish for 2 hours, quite a site actually, Great sport! Not for the Gull though" :!::D
Gawd... I'm getting some big arm muscles from pulling myself up off the floor after laughing so much!!! :P
You guys could open up a "fitness through humor" program at the exercise club next to the general store in Lilliwaup! :idea:
GaryGB
-
YeeeeHaaaahhhh! :lol: :lol: :lol:
GaryGB
-
When Fritz got into the airport terminal, he was waiting to pick up his luggage next to a charming young lady. Being still young and single, his advances just rejected by the stewardess, he couldn't help but notice this lady's attractive looks. :twisted:
As fate would have it, her luggage passed by first, and when she bent forward to retrieve her belongings, suddenly her glass eye popped out. Fritz, ever the "hyperexcitable" guy that he was, had lightning fast reflexes, and when he saw the eye on its way to the ground, he quickly reached out his hand and caught it before it could hit the floor and shatter. :shock:
The young lady thanked Fritz profusely, her words muffled briefly as she popped the eye in her mouth prior to slipping it back into the socket. Impressed with how "handy" Fritz seemed to be, and since she was single too, she asked him if he would join her for a drink in downtown Seattle. :D
Well, the drink led to dinner and dancing, and then after a whirlwind night.. to breakfast at her place the next day. They had a lovely breakfast, and Fritz, touched by the events of the last day, knew this lady was someone special he could see having breakfast with every morning. Finally he just had to ask: "Do you treat all your gentlemen callers like this?" She smiled and said, "Just the ones who catch my eye!" :wink:
Fritz travelled back frequently to see the Washington apple of his eye, before eventually marrying her. And Mindy, as they say, was still just a glint in her mother's eye...! :mrgreen:
GaryGB
-
Well Pups, this topic has gone a while without the replies it deserves, so I thought I'd post a link to the indirect responses it has evoked thus far! :D
see: http://forums.simflight.com/viewtopic.php?t=51741
GaryGB
-
Not being blonde, she angrily retorted: "Sir, if you keep that up, I'm going to have to ask you if you want 1 lump or 2!!! :lol:
GaryGB
-
Hi Bill:
That bird wouldn't by any chance be a vulture, turkey buzzard, or chicken hawk would it?!!! :lol:
GaryGB
-
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quite the storyline there Pups!
May I suggest some additional ideas for future episodes to keep Chris entertained while he's out on the road?
Cecil tells a story about the time when he was in student clinic at the "theological school of dentistry and applied chemistry" and a visiting guru needed oral surgery; he refused anaesthesia because he wanted to "transcend dental medication". :?
Someone has a medical emergency at the reception, and the cry goes out "Is there a Doctor in the house?" Gary rushed over and began examining the sick person. "Where is your medical bag," one attendee asked. Holding up his middle finger "the Doctor" replied, "I'm a proctologist, I've got everything I need right here." :!:
Fritz was there, and told the story about when Uncle Elmer was working on the farm south of the approach to Runway 36 where they "grow corn for medicinal purposes only" and sheep for "wooly jumpers in the winter". One day he was approached by a Native American who said he could read the minds of animals.
Elmer considered it nonsense, but the Indian approached the horse and asked how he was. The horse told the Indian that he had been treated well, but that his stall was a bit drafty.
Elmer was amazed, but still not completely assured. The Indian approached the dog, and said the dog told him he was happy, well-treated and well-fed, but Elmer sometimes forgets to leave him enough water. Elmer was more impressed, but still not sure.
But when the Indian began to approach his sheep, Elmer yelled out, "The sheep lie!" :shock:
Chris was there telling jokes he learned in Texas:
#1: Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
#2: Two boll weevils grew up in East Texas. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Then Chris shocked the crowd when he described that the only members of the winged kingdom he had anything to do with were airplanes; and regarding "the birds", those really were vultures and not turkey buzzards as had been so scurrilously implied by Gary in another post on the EFFC forum. (see: http://forums.simflight.com/viewtopic.p3&start=45 )
He said that on his way back from Texas he tried bringing 2 low profile armadillos and 2 live vultures on board an airplane; each bird was carrying two dead raccoons. Chris had paid good money to charter a seat for each of them to defend his reputation with the crowd at Emma, because after the leather capped "newcomers" arrived there, rumors had started flying about Chris doing the "good ol' boy waltz" when he'd visited Cecil's southern relatives.
But alas, the blonde flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per per passenger." :wink:
Timmissartok (aka Jack 'Don l.' Donnelly) was there and told the story about when he was in Greenland he heard of 2 Eskimos sitting in a kayak that felt chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
Then Don got to talking about his military paratrooper days with Special Ops in asia. He said he was on one assignment where a Buddhist and a Hindu had to parachute into a rural area with no airstrip. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong--"
"Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me."
"Not a chance," the Buddhist said, "Because there IS no God. There is only your Essential Buddha Nature." The Hindu scoffed at this.
The pair leaped out of the plane. Halfway down, they discovered that their parachutes wouldn't open."My God!" screamed the Hindu. "Save me!" But he continued to plummet.
Just then he heard the Buddhist say, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature." Immediately, a giant hand came out of nowhere, cradled the Buddhist in its palm and gently began lowering him to earth.
The terrified Hindu too cried out, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature!" With that, another giant hand appeared, cradled the Hindu in its palm and gently lowered him towards the earth below.
"Whew! That was a close one!" said the Hindu, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Thank God!" whereupon the giant hand turned over palm down.
"It wasn't pretty" said Don, "...but those were extraordinary times calling for extraordinary measures!" 8)
Pups was there telling about his winter holiday experiences on the road with the University chess club going to competitions in distant Canadian provinces. They had checked into a hotel and were lingering in the lobby boisterously discussing their recent tournament victories. The manager finally lost his patience with the noise after about an hour, came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." One of the blonde chess club members who had been surreptitiously taking swigs out of a hip flask the whole time muttered under his breath as they walked off: "This guy has no Christmas spirit, besides, there's no fireplace in this joint!" :roll:
Just some ideas... :twisted:
GaryGB
-
Hi Chris:
I think it was "lemming curry"! :D
I hope Bill Lyons makes a mean Mallard fizz real soon too! 8)
Wouldn't it be great to have a Fritz bobble head to go with our EFFC decals and jet decoder rings? :roll:
GaryGB
-
Chris:
I bet those aren't vultures, and are "Turkey Buzzards" instead!:P
But as my colleague from rural Missouri often says jovially for no particular reason: "Ain't nuthin' but a chicken hawk!"; since his folks now live in Amarillo, Texas, I guess he has an opinion to be reckoned with.... :roll:
PS: Now you know why they say: "Don't mess with Texas!" :lol:
GaryGB
-
Madaz:
Thanks for the links; its interesting to read about other members of the amphibian family, particularly the Berievs. :D
I was at Oshkosh when the BE 103 was introduced
(see the excellent model at AVSIM: http://library.avsim.net/download.php?DLID=36762 )
I'll have to find a way to post the video of the demo flight at the seaplane base... an awesome pair of powerplants on struts (OK... the twin engines were as interesting as the very skilled lady pilot too!) :oops: :mrgreen:
GaryGB
-
Chris: speaking of buzzards, I understand that Cecil's relatives in Texas could set you up for a "good ol' boy" Texas waltz with members of the winged kingdom! :shock: :lol: :lol:
GaryGB
-
Holy Schweppes, Chris... you really do cover a lot of ground in a year don't you?!!! :shock:
But look on the bright side, you're racking up a lot of frequent flyer air miles so you can fly somewhere on vacation!!!
BTW, around Chicagoland, Schweppes and Canda Dry brands are interchangeable for tonic water, and its sacrilege to use the version with artificial sweetener. Schweppes usually has the better bite of quinine, and a squeeze of lime finishes the pucker off real well! 8)
Astounding, the number of "servers" in restaurants and "yuppie puppie" upstart bars that confuse tonic water with soda/sparkling mineral water: "Hi I'm Biff, and I'll be your server, can I interest you in our 'heart attack on a plate' appetizer special and some drinks tonite?" :P
GaryGB
-
Hi Cecil:
Strangely enough, my monitor flickered while I was writing my posts on the latter part of this thread, but I can't bear the thought of rebooting; I might miss something! :D
GaryGB
-
You're right Pups, ixnay on the ofilepray... 'twas naught but a Kirkegardian "leap of faith"! :oops:
:lol: :lol:
PS: Chris, is there much of a difference between lemmings and moles? :roll:
GaryGB
-
Hi Chris:
I used to prefer drinking Coke when online, but since this last week in particular, I have found the spray from my oubursts of laughter leaves unsightly amber stains; consequently, I have switched to tanqueray gin & tonic for greater clarity of both insight and screen visibility! :idea: :mrgreen:
GaryGB
-
Howdy Pups:
Don't work too hard on solving this one! see: http://forums.simflight.com/profile.phpile&u=6428 :lol:
GaryGB
-
Ok, here's an obscure one for Skinny Puppy:
"A small furry mammal walks into the Emma Field clubhouse bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, according to our consultant "Pups" over there, our occupancy is only 6.02*10^20." We can't serve a mole." :roll:
(see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(unit) )
GaryGB
-
BTW Pups, I thought you'd, get a kick out of this web page entitled: "Jokes with Einstein" at: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/einstein.php. :D
Then there's the time that Fritz accidentally ate some type of "funny mushroom" that grows naturally out in the shadows of the mash tank near Uncle Elmer's moonshine still. He had a "real eye opener" as seen here: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/pixelated.php :shock:
Fritz woke up later leaning up against the tank with the portable radio he keeps in the still shed blasting out loud rock and roll; he subsequently found out that the mushroom was one of the types used in local Indian religious rituals of spiritual rebirth and insight. Eventually, the Skokomish referred to the persistence of Fritz's somewhat disturbing tendency to be set in his ways, and his apparent lack of new insights from the mushroom-induced experience by calling him a native word meaning "stillborn". :lol:
PS: "A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine!"
GaryGB
-
Hi Pups:
No, but Al Gore was the guy who invented the internet only to lose the election campaign. You might be thinking of former U.S. Vice president Dan Quayle, the "whiz kid" of the modern U.S. educational system. :oops:
Knowing you have an interest in astronomy and kindred subjects you'll appreciate this Dan Quayle quote:
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit . . . Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." :?:
(see: http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/quotquotes.htm)
Well, Dick Cheney has been in Washington a long time.. maybe he should have taken up "Quayle hunting" earlier! :wink:
PS: Being "short, yet incredibly lengthy" has generally been a real eye opener for others as well! :twisted:
GaryGB
-
You crack me up every time Cecil! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Where do you find all those great animated icons? That last one really "came to grips with things" pretty well didn't it?!!! :shock:
So when "anno" got home, his wife was amorous, and he had to say: "not tonite baby, 'cause ever since I left the bar, I've been feeling all wrung out; its as if somebody mopped the place up with me!" :twisted:
GaryGB
-
Hi Madaz:
Just thought I'd best not affront those from the southern hemisphere with the idea of us enjoying spring whereas those "down under" are facing up to fall. :roll:
But, after finally realizing you use Celsius instead of Farenheit on the latter link: http://au.weather.yahoo.com/ASXX/ASXX0117/index_c.html, I understood your reference to the "better weather". :oops:
Well, we don't like feeling left out up here either, so yesterday we had a tornado which rotated clockwise (only 1 in 1,000 do this... in the northern hemisphere that is!) so we could experience something contrary like how toilets flush down there! :twisted:
(see: http://www.scientificamerican.com/print9EC588F2D7)
Naturally, we at the EFFC clubhouse would be too incapacitated to remember the way the water rotates if we saw it (but of course we don't see it since we still use the outhouse latrine pit underneath our sanitary pedestals!). I think I saw the flys and vapors rotating one time though... or was that just because of that noisy bathroom fan in the ceiling? :shock:
Hmmm... we'll just have to send out a duly qualified observer to research the answers to all these pressing questions! How about a member of the Emma Field Burrowing Club (EFBC)? Look out Australia, here he comes! :mrgreen:
GaryGB
Limp Wensleydale tries to earn some more money
in Emma Field Flying Club
Posted
A remarkably evolved group of souls we have here at EFFC!
To mention but a few:
Jack (Don l.) Donnelly aka Bushsimmer aka Timmissartok is communicating from the other side between virtual incarnations. 8)
Bill Dick is remembering past lives with unusual clarity. When he did his first "age-regression session" with the new-age therapist/spiritual guide, he had a little trouble progressing back to his current real life within the curved Einsteinian space-time continuum. When he was told to re-assume his life as Bill, he kept shouting: "No... no... I won't go back/forward... you don't know 'DICK' !!!" :P
Pups is hovering between heaven and earth in the Elysian Fields of acdemia with interests ranging from Simming to physics, quantum mechanics, relativity, cosmology and Geese! :D
And then there's Chris, the restless spirit gathering no Karmic entanglement as he moves perpetually about the globe. At the pearly Gates in one of his high altitude dreams, when asked what he has learned from his earthly sojourns, he "flips the bird" and says "Ya' don't know JACK" and "Where's the Pub?" :shock:
And we have Fritzois, able to pass through Curtains of Iron with impunity, and whose penchant for hats is the only recognizeable trait as he side-slips between earthly appearances as an avatar to the travelers among the many virtual worlds of immersive illusion; truly he deserves the title "Mahatma" which means "great soul with great hat".
Indeed, I walk in good company... :roll:
GaryGB